


baby, kiss it better

by tardisheart134



Category: Supernatural, Taylor Swift (Musician)
Genre: DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:40:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29248167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tardisheart134/pseuds/tardisheart134
Summary: Dean, Cas and Sam return from a hunt where Dean takes the brunt of the injuries. Cas who hasn't had his grace since Dean rescued him from the Empty, turns to alternative methods to heal Dean. (Post 15x18 fic inspired by the lyrics of Taylor Swift's song Cardigan.)
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 43





	baby, kiss it better

"Let me look at you." Cas said after letting Dean down onto his bed. Castiel went about the work of taking inventory of Dean's wounds.

"Here Cas - " Sam set down the bunkers first aid kit. Cas opened Dean's sleeve to see a deep gash that had been bleeding through his shirt.

"That's gonna need stitches." Sam said. "Here, let me."

"No. I'll do it Sam."

"Are you sure?" Sam had watched Cas heal Dean countless times - but without his grace he figured that he would be the expert here.

"I said I'll take care of it." Cas bit sharply. "I may not have my grace, but I'm not entirely useless." Cas usually didn't take such a sharp tone, especially not with Sam, but he was mad. He hated not being able to heal Dean with a simple touch.

Dean gave Sam a look letting him know that he would be okay. He'd been injured far worse in his life and had even on occasion given himself his own stitches. He would be able to walk Cas through this, if needed. Sam turned to leave the room to retrieve of whiskey for Dean.

"I am sorry." Cas said without meeting Dean's eyes. "I didn't mean to snap at Sam. I just hate being so damn useless." Cas readied the kit before he threaded the needle.

"Cas-" Dean waited until Cas finally looked at him. "You're not useless. You are more than just your grace." Cas looked back down at the kit avoiding Dean's gaze and not allowing the words to sink in. " I need you to hear me." Dean was urgent. "You were never _just_ an angel to me. You know that, right?"

"I know." Cas dropped his eyes again and returned to his work, as he meticulously went about prepping the wound and disinfecting the skin around the gash in Dean's forearm. "I just hate seeing you in pain and I hate that I can't fix it."

"With you here Cas - don't you know - I can't feel any pain?" Dean was trying to ease the tension and flirt a little. Sure Cas had confessed his _love_ and Dean was sure to let him know that he felt the same way after they saved Cas from the Empty - but they hadn't really done _this_ part.

It had been mostly a few desperate hugs right after the rescue mission. There had been that one chaste kiss when Dean told Cas that he loved him back and they'd held hands once while watching a movie. But Dean's whole body ached for more. More Cas. He just didn't know where to start. There was a part of him that still worried that he and Cas didn't mean ' _I love you_ ' the same way. Dean had never doubted that Cas loved him throughout all of their friendship. And he had known for a long time that he loved him back. But what if Dean got it wrong? Dean was only human and he wanted things, physical expressions of that love. He wanted to flirt. He wanted to tell Cas how attractive he was and tell him how much he wanted him and watch the angel blush and smile. He didn't know if Cas felt _that_ way about him too.

Castiel's eyes briefly darted up to meet Dean's but he didn't return the smile.

"Stop distracting me." Cas said flatly as a blush crept up his cheeks. He bit his bottom lip to stop it from quirking up into a grin. Cas tugged Dean's forearm up until it was resting in his lap. Dean let out a staggered breath as Cas started with the first stitch and he immediately felt the pang of the deep breath in his side. He must have a bruised a rib too. "I'll be quick."

Dean was impressed with Castiel's precision as he threw stitch after stitch. Their Netflix binges of Dr. Sexy must be paying off. Sam returned from the kitchen with a full tumbler of whisky and a bag of peas. Dean swallowed the whiskey down in several successive gulps before exchanging the glass for the peas.

"That looks bad." Sam said as Dean opened one side of his shirt to ice the deep purplish bruise on his abdomen. "How's your breathing?" Sam asked with that pinched clinical concern.

"It hurts when I laugh or breathe too deep, but it's nothing a few days of rest won't fix."

"There - all set." Cas said as he tied off the last stitch.

"That's actually really good stitching." Sam tried and failed to hide the surprise in his voice.

"Thanks." Cas wrapped gauze over the stitches before beginning to apply antiseptic to Dean's other cuts and scrapes. "Can you get him some Advil and a water? I know that whiskey is quick and probably Dean's pain killer of choice, but it doesn't do anything to help with the swelling and inflammation."

Dean couldn't help but be slightly turned on by Cas _playing doctor_ right now and watching him boss Sam around was just an added bonus. He couldn't hide the humor in his eyes as Sam rolled his and did as he was told. Cas moved closer and made Dean completely shrug out of his flannel shirt that was tattered shreds in some places. Dean had plenty of fantasies of Cas in his bed and taking his shirt off, but in those fantasies, he would have preferred not to have lost so much blood and he would have liked to have had full lung capacity. Cas addressed each wound with such urgency and gentleness. He was close to Dean's face as he applied ointment to the cut above Dean's eye.

"You're getting a black eye." Castiel let himself cradle Dean's head in his hand. His thumb just caressing the outline of the swollen shiner. Their gaze lingered longer than necessary. Dean leaned into the touch hoping for more. Even if it meant he had to be injured to indulge, this touch was all he longed for. Sam announced his presence by clearing his throat, as he stumbled upon the moment. He suddenly felt like an intruder in the awkward silence - well - _awkward for him_.

Cas dropped his hand quickly as if he he'd been scolded. It was Dean's turn to pull a bitch-face. "I think we got it from here." Dean said dismissively. "Thanks Sam." Sam put down the Advil and water bottle on the bedside table and promptly exited the room. With all of Dean's injuries they probably wouldn't be getting up to any adult activities that Sam would need earplugs for, but he wanted to have them handy just in case.

Dean brushed a hand over Cas' arm as if to quiet his frantic first aid work. "Thank you for fixing me all up. I am as good as new." Dean let his hand rest on Cas' arm. It was new and still felt a little forced - but god - he wanted to touch him.

"You are hardly _good as new._ " Cas' eyes fell again with a look that Dean recognized as shame. "It's my fault that you were injured in the first place and it's my fault I don't have my grace anymore to heal you. I'm just no good for you."

"hey - hey - don't say that - " Dean's voice was stern - on the verge of anger as he shook at the angel's arm like he was trying to dislodge all the wrongness of his words. "Don't you know - you're the best thing that's ever happened to me?" Their eyes met again briefly and Dean could see the shy smile in Cas' eyes as he fought against his own disbelief.

"Alright." Cas got to his feet and out of Dean's grasp. "Take two of these." Cas uncapped the bottle of water and handed it to Dean with the Advil. Dean obeyed. "I'll be back in a few hours to wake you up and take two more."

"Cas - wait." Dean caught Cas' arm as he turned to leave. Dean held on because he knew the moment he let go Cas would be out the door. He could tell Cas was still beating himself up over all of this. Dean had done enough self-loathing to recognize it. "Stay."

Cas gave him a look and was about to object, but Dean continued.

"Look, I know we haven't worked out all this stuff." Dean gestured a hand between them both - insinuating that "this stuff" actually meant _us_. "I just want you close." Dean smoothed his thumb over the inside of Cas' wrist silently imploring him for any small gesture of closeness. "Please."

Cas turned his palm over to hold Dean's hand back, his countenance softening as he locked eyes with him. "I just need a little time to myself Dean, to get my head straight. I'll be back in a few hours." Cas gave a little squeeze before dropping Dean's hand and closing the door behind him. "Promise."

Dean let him go. He stripped down to his shorts and burrowed under the covers and let himself drift into a state of no longer consciously existing.

Cas paced in the library and then in the war room before he finally found himself getting a whole pint of ice cream from the fridge and heading to the tv room. All Dean wanted was to have him close, despite all of his failures and he couldn't even give him that. He flipped through the channels mindlessly while he ate ice cream until he was on the verge of a brain freeze. Numbing out with the tv and food seemed to be the coping mechanism of many a human who found themselves frustrated. Cas landed on a re-run of Dr. Sexy. He abandoned his own emotions and let the feelings of the characters on screen fill the void. A mother was trying to calm her terminally sick child. "Let mommy kiss it better....okay." Cas watched as the mother pressed a feather light kiss to her child's forehead. "All better?" the mom asked. Despite the child's illness still persisting, Cas was amazed to watch the child's tears dry up as they put on a brave face. "All better." the child confirmed.

Cas had never heard that phrase before - ' _kiss it better_ '. He didn't have his grace, but this seemed to be something that humans could do. A quick google search confirmed " _Comfort a sick or injured person by kissing the sore or injured part of their body as a gesture of removing pain_."

Cas checked the time and realized it was close to the time Dean should have another dosage of pain meds. He clicked off the tv and left the remainder of ice cream on the tv stand to melt. He was going to wake Dean up and kiss it better. Cas turned on the bed side lamp and sat in the open space next to Dean. He didn't want to startle him awake knowing far too well how that could end up. In time, Dean woke up with a slight jolt.

"Cas?" Dean said with the sleep and searching in his voice.

"Can you sit up for round 2 of meds?" Cas handed Dean the Advil and water as Dean shifted around on the bed. "How do you feel?"

"Like I've been tossed around by Bigfoot."

"Can I try something?" Cas asked not being quite brave enough to meet Dean's eyes. Dean nodded. Cas scooted closer on the bed until he could reach all of Dean comfortably. He cupped Dean's face and bringing him close, he pressed a light kiss to the cut above Dean's eye and then another kiss to the shiner just under it.

Dean drew in a ragged breath, wincing with the twinge in his abdomen. Moving slow and methodical, Cas brought Dean's forearm up close and pressed another kiss to the skin at the edge of the gauze. Dean's heart began to palpitate as his heart rate climbed. Cas kissed him with such tenderness, but he couldn't help but be a little confused with the sudden influx of affection. "Cas?" Dean licked his dry lips, searching for the right words. "What's - what are you doing?"

"It's not working, is it?" Cas couldn't hide the disappointment. "I must not be doing it right."

"What's not working?" Dean asked, still puzzled.

"I'm trying to ' _kiss it better_ '. I saw it on tv and the internet confirmed that you can _comfort someone by kissing the injured part as a gesture of removing the pain_. "Does it not make you feel better? I know it's not as good as my grace - but I just thought-- "

Dean cut him off finally realizing. "No - No - it's working!" He said emphatically. "I just didn't realize you knew about this _very_ -human remedy."

"Well you should have told me sooner. I want to help."

"You are helping, Cas. I told you - just you being here - with me - makes me better."

Cas allowed the affirmation to wash over him without protest.

"Where else does it hurt?"

If Dean had been standing up, he would have gone weak in the knees. He couldn't believe his fortune to have the love of such a selfless being. "Here." Dean pointed to a scratch at that top of his bare clavicle. Without hesitation, Cas pressed a kiss there. "...and here." Dean pointed to the bruise on his temple. "...and here..." Dean pointed to his split lip. Cas pressed a lingering, gentle, and off center kiss to Dean's lips. Dean caught him by the back of the neck - holding him close. "What about you, Cas? Where do you hurt?"

Castiel's brow furrowed in thought. "I didn't get any injuries, Dean. I'm fine."

"I don't mean physically, Cas." Dean watched as he thought through the meaning. "I know you've been in pain. You've not been feeling like yourself, since you lost the rest of your grace. I know it weighs on your heart."

Cas nodded as he began to understand. "I do miss my grace. And I miss my wings. I just hate that I'm not of use to you, like I was before. I don't know who I am without being an angel. I don't know what my purpose is."

"Can I try to make it better?"

Cas nodded.

Dean tugged him closer by his sweater, rubbing the material absentmindedly through his fingers. "Can you take this off for me?" Castiel removed his sweater, rucking up his hair in the process. "You'll always be my angel." Dean said as he ran a hand over Cas' chest. He leaned in kissing along the angel's neck, just under his Adam's apple where he'd seen so many angels lose their grace. Dean wrapped his good arm around Castiel's waist and pulling them flush against each other. "You make me feel so good, Cas." Dean trailed kisses down to Cas' chest right where he imagined the angel's heart to be. "I'm all better." Dean let himself lean into Cas' chest as the angel returned his embrace. "This is all I've wanted for so long."

"Me too." Cas pressed kisses to the top of Dean's head. " I would like very much to stay right here - with you." They barely let go of each other as they re-arranged themselves under the covers a few moments later, and comfortably fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! 15x18 wrecked me and one night I was listening to Folklore when the line, "hand under my sweatshirt, baby, kiss it better..." would not leave me alone. I had to write this down.


End file.
